postpone? {heavy sigh}

i contacted skelly lodge earlier this week to find out if we could postpone our wedding without incurring additional fees. half of me was hoping she would say yes; half of me was hoping she would say no. we can postpone it for up to one year without any penalty. i couldn't even tell travis for a full day. he didn't know that i was checking, but i knew what his thoughts would be since we are unable to contribute to it at this time.
i finally told him last night, and as i suspected, he thought it would be for the best. he wanted to know what my parents had to say about it first though. we called my mom into the room and told her, and she didn't say much. she just started asking questions about what the lady at the lodge had said. my dad had already gone to bed so we weren't able to talk to him about it. i had to run him on a couple of errands this morning because my mom had his truck, and so i told him then. he didn't say a single word. not one word. i explained that travis and i were unable to contribute to the wedding at this time, and still he said nothing.

today was 101 days until our wedding ... we had almost made it to 100 days. now if we postpone it, it will be 465 days away. we were planning showers and parties, i had just finished designing a super cute newsletter-thing to introduce all of the bridal party to one another and provide them with one another's contact information, the ball was really starting to roll.

i'm trying to look at this positively and think that now i have time to make things that i wanted to make for the wedding. now i have time to save more money and maybe even do more things than we had originally planned, things i was going to get rid of in effort to cut corners. at the end of the day, though, i'm disappointed that travis won't be my husband in just a few short months, and i won't be his wife. nothing else really changes.

i'm not looking forward to announcing it to everyone. i know my friends will be supportive, but i still am not looking forward to the conversation(s).

the week has taken a weird, disheartening turn, that's for sure.