ex.haus.ted.

Someone please tell me I will stop feeling so tired all of the time and will be able to get some rest soon. 

Being a wife, nurse, daughter, and new "mom" while also juggling a career, home life, and friendships is not easy. 

I've always been incredibly impressed with people who are long-term caretakers, but now I have even more respect for them.  I have only been taking care of Travis for a month, and we are both worn out.  Neither of us are getting much sleep; the Crohn's wakes Travis up several times and night which in turn wakes me up. 

Don't get me wrong. There is no one I would rather be taking care of, and I'm so glad I have the opportunity to be the one watching over him.  But I would be lying if I said it was easy. 

With all of the things going on in the past six months, I've gotten to a point where I can only squeeze so much into my day.  Even the idea of trying to figure out what we're going to have for dinner can send me into a frantic state of stress.  and I'm someone who likes to cook. 

I have a day trip to Houston tomorrow which makes for a very early morning, so I better hop off of here.  Sweet dreams to all.

welcome to the world baby lucy!

I happily introduce to you Miss Lucy Smith and big sister Gracie.

This week our friends Tasha & Justin Smith welcomed their sweet baby lucy into the world.  I'm sure it doesn't seem like it to Tasha, but I feel like she was just announcing to me that she was pregnant and now we have a new little girl in our midst.

Travis and I still haven't gotten to meet her, but we're over the moon for the Smiths.  Isn't Gracie just the cutest? She's so excited to be a big sister.  You're a lucky, lucky girl little Luce.  You have an incredible family who loves you so much.

Welcome to your adventure! 

staging consult.

we're selling our house.  have i mentioned that? we have it listed and will hopefully be able to move to bartlesville before haley starts school.  i know that's a little bit of wishful thinking on our part because it can take quite a while to sell a house, go through closing, close on land, and build a new house.  even if we decide to purchase an existing home, the process can still take some time. so keep your fingers crossed for us. 

in the meantime, a woman named amy came to the house on friday for a staging consult.  we have the house listed, but the photographer hasn't come to take pictures just yet.  we were waiting for amy to come by and tell us what to do.

everyone warned us not to take anything she said personally - that she's a pro at telling people what to do so their house appeals to a lot of people.  i gave myself a pep talk and braced myself for the worse ... but surpringly enough, it was painless.  i thought she would have lots to say about our house, but everything was positive. 

she mainly just wanted us to open the shower curtain up part of the way for pictures, remove anything that might normally be hidden by the shower curtain, and put away a few things from our kitchen counter tops and our nightstands.  everything else was good to go. 

whew.  hopefully this means everyone will love our house and it will sell quickly.  here's hoping.

haleyisms.

My friend Jen used to post on her blog funny things her husband, Court, would say.  She called them "Courtisms," and I'm beginning to think I might have to implement "Haleyisms."

Case in point ... 

Tonight as we were leaving Muskogee Haley turns to Travis and says, "Your dad is just one of those adorable people I would buy at Walmart." 

Such a funny girl. 

good reminder.

easy garlic chicken.

Tonight I needed something quick and easy for dinner.  The week has been long, and nothing would come to mind for dinner.  I knew I didn't want to go out for dinner, but I could hardly even think of what was in my freezer and pantry.  I knew I had chicken {Haley's favorite} so I hopped on the Food Network on my cell phone to see if I could come up with something simple.

This recipe jumped out at me.  Typically I try to document the full prep and cooking experience, but I just wasn't up for it tonight. I was very impressed with this recipe though.  It was super easy and I wanted to make sure that I don't lose it.  I love that I could change the number of servings I want and the ingredients would automatically update. 

I plan to make this again in the future.  I'll do a better job then of capturing how the dish is actually made.  Maybe.

landscaping ideas.

I am terrible at outdoor landscaping.  I can drive past other properties and highlight things I like, but when I get to the store, I can never pick anything that I like.  Even though I can pull designs together on paper, I can't bring the idea of different plants together in my head. It comes pretty easily to both of my parents, but somehow that gene skipped over me.

Mom and Dad are going to come help us with the flowerbed this weekend.  We haven't planted anything in our front flowerbed yet, and if we're going to list the house, we need to make sure we have nice curbside appeal.

I started looking around online and here are a few images I came across on Pinterest.

Anyone have any brilliant ideas for how you go about planning out your landscaping?

an afternoon nap.

Travis hasn't really been able to make it into the office because of the pain and other symptoms he's still experiencing.  We're only two weeks into the 6MP, so we know it will still be a while before he starts seeing a real difference.

When he is at the office, he typically drives us home from work; but today he barely made it through the day, and he messaged me at work to ask if I could drive home.  We had hardly gotten into our drive before he was fast asleep.  

People aren't checking in as much because they know we're not in the hospital any more {thank goodness}.  But they also don't realize what all my guy is going through.  When we were released from the hospital last week it's because they had been able to get Travis's pain under control and had also managed to help back off the bleeding a little. They can't really keep him for six weeks until everything gets completely better. 

So he toughs it out each day.  Poor guy.  He's home, but he still looks like a patient to me.  

Even though I can tell he's not feeling well, I love this picture.

 

welcome to MY frontier.

This weekend Travis watched The Pioneer Woman with me.  It's Ree Drummond's show on the Food Network.  I've used a few of her recipes {particularly when I'm cooking beef}, and I've had a lot of success with them {remember that incredible beef tenderloin I whipped up at Christmas?}. 

She made a tres leches cake, and Travis thought it looked really yummy.   I decided to give it a whirl.  Mine isn't as pretty as hers {and I didn't feel like removing the stems from my cherries} but all in all it turned out pretty well.

I've had tres leches cakes before, but Travis never had.  It's very light, even though it has the three milks in it.  I'm a fan, but mine definitely wasn't as good as the professionally made cakes I've had.  I'm not giving up on the recipe, but think it's something I'll need to try a few times before I get it just right.

apple kale muffins.

Right now kale is really popular, but I've never really eaten it.  Since we've been making smoothies and juices for Travis, kale is a frequent ingredient as part of the base, especially for green smoothies.  I bought a large bunch of it ... but then found that I didn't really know what to do with it.  It didn't go through our juicer very well, and when I put it in the blender, I couldn't get it smooth enough for either of us.  I like lots of other green smoothies, but I just can't get past the kale texture.

I started looking into other ways to use kale.  I made kale chips last night.  They were pretty good, but definitely not my favorite thing under the sun.  I thought I really liked them as soon as they were finished, but after a few I wasn't a big fan.  I stored them in a Rubbermaid container overnight and they were soggy today.  Ick.  No thanks.

I had seen these apple kale muffins by Lemon Stripes on Pinterest.  They looked really yummy so I decided to give them a whirl.

They made the house smell delicious while they were baking {and even though you're not supposed to, I couldn't help but sample the batter a few times while mixing them up}.

Don't let look delish?  They had moist chunks of apple in them and wonderful spices like cinnamon and nutmeg. I would definitely make these again, but will need to find other kale recipes that I like because it really didn't take much kale to make the muffins, and it always seems to come in such large bunches.

Do you have any kale recipes you love?

listing our home.

travis has scheduled an appointment with our realtor to come to our house tomorrow and give us an idea of what we need to do to sell it.  over the past few months we've been looking at land in owasso, sperry, and bartlesville.  

travis is really tired of the commute to work.  neither of us loves our neighborhood {though i really love our location in broken arrow}, and we are trying to figure out the best solution for haley as far as school goes next year.

we've come to the conclusion that a move closer to bartlesville is what will make the most sense.  it's not an easy decision for me.  i love living one street over from nick and kate, have quick access to main street in broken arrow, and close proximity to target and marshall's.  these are all things bartlesville doesn't have. 

the schools are great, though, and it will be good to have more time at home with the boys.  i hate how much time they spend alone right now.  haley getting home from school earlier than we get home from work has been kind of nice just because i know the three of them have each other and aren't sitting all alone.  

i would be lying if i said i didn't feel a little overwhelmed.  we have to sell our house; find a piece of land; choose a floor plan {and the million other decisions that come along with building a home}; actually build said home; and move to a whole new town.  i know we're blessed to be in a position to be able to build a home, but this year has involved a lot of change, a lot of loss, and a lot of new challenges in a very short period of time. 

hopefully we'll be able to find a new place that we all love.  but first, we need to sell our home.

meet the newest avengers.

we still aren't getting out of the house much these days.  travis gets pretty winded just walking from the bedroom to the living room, but today we ventured out for a few things at walmart.

somehow we found ourselves in the toy aisle so we stopped for a little fun.

Don't you think we make excellent super Avengers? 

I love that with all the serious, sometimes scary things that have been going on, we're still able to stop and laugh together and just be silly.

#HarryStylesLoveMe

That funny girl of ours is at it again. {She's either going to appreciate these posts or hate me one day ... hopefully the former.}

Don't worry, Haley.  I think your "husband" is safe.  I'm a happily married girl {and blessed to be so}.

grateful.

He gives beauty for ashes, strength for fear, gladness for mourning, peace for despair. 

And for that I am grateful.

praying for boston.

it is so hard to put into words what i'm feeling for the city and people of boston {and for our country really}.  i found this post on facebook and decided to share it.

I have tried to write this status three times and I keep going back and deleting it. I cannot find the right words to express how I feel about today's devastating events in my home town of Boston. Not everyone knows this, but today is a holiday in Massachusetts. It is Patriots' Day. Bostonians by nature are overly patriotic. I think it has a lot to do with the historic roots of our fair city. Today a coward, or maybe even a group of cowards decided that they would try to destroy that beauty. They have no idea you cannot destroy that kind of beauty. History is embedded to the core of that city. You may crack the pavement, you may injure us physically, you may strike fear for today, but you will NOT destroy our spirit. Be it a foreign terrorist or a domestic terrorist you better believe your days are numbered. We will pull ourselves back up, we will be better than ever. We will not live in fear, we will fight back. We are Bostonians, we are Americans and we will not hide like the cowards you are.

To all of the civilians today, My heart goes out to you and your families. Be it physical injury, mental injury or loss of a loved one.

To the Boston Police, Boston Ems, Boston Fire and surrounding agency responders, I cannot put into words the feeling of pride and fear that overwhelmed me as I watched you run headlong into a heinous nightmare. No hesitation, no fear.

Lastly, to the 911 Dispatchers/Calltakers of Boston and the surrounding agencies that assisted. My heart is yours. You held fast as hysterical callers, worried family members and your units on the street needed you in these tragic events. The angels behind the headset were tested today in Boston. I tip my headset to you, the unseen heroes behind the scenes, you are the golden glue today and everyday.

boston marathon bombing.

my heart is heavy today.  two bombs went off near the finish line of the boston marathon this morning.  in the past few year more and more of my friends and acquaintances have become runners.  several had been at the run just the year before.

i have been glued to the news, refreshing news results online every few minutes to see if there are new details.  new stories. 

image by greg atkinson

the anniversary of the oklahoma city bombing is just around the corner, and i find myself choked up and emotional for the city of boston.  i find hope, though, because even in all this destruction stories continue to emerge of people who ran toward the blast, toward potential danger, to help friends, family, and more often than not, strangers.

"when i was a boy and would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'look for the helpers. you will always find people who are helping,'" mister fred rogers. 

celebrating with pie.

i was so excited to have travis back home, i decided to celebrate with his favorite buttermilk pie.  here it is right before i popped it in the oven. 

it's celebrate haley week.

last week haley had a failing grade in journalism because of all the make-up work she had to do. just look at what she has now.  =)

20 assignments in four days!

Haley finished 20 {!!} make up assignments this week! She made a plan, mapped it out, and made it happen! We are all very proud of her.

Look at all those green check marks! 

haley hits it out of the park.

Travis and I are super proud of Haley this week.  School has been tough with everything that has taken place since last fall.  We've all experienced a lot of loss, but Haley has certainly been impacted the most. 

She had asked to go to Britney's birthday over the weekend.  With Travis in the hospital, I honestly wasn't sure how we were going to work everything out, but she was pretty sure she could get a ride from Britney's mom.  The day of the party I messaged to see if they were picking her up and what time she would be leaving.  

She has started having dreams of pages and pages of homework flying in the air behind her chasing her.  When I got home from the hospital on Monday night, we pulled up her homework on the online grade book and looked at the missing assignments together.  Then Haley pulled together this incredible plan for knocking it out.  It was super aggressive, and I tried to caution her not to take off too much in one day.  I didn't want her rushing through for the sake of getting it done and then missing the point of the assignment, or doing so much that she overwhelmed herself.  She wanted to stick with the plan, though.  

We created a visual on a dry erase board so she could see her progress and know how close she was to getting the flying homework off her back. 

The pictures aren't great, but you can see that in just a few days she was already getting green check marks all over the board.  We know this hasn't been easy, but Travis and I are just so proud of her!  Our friends and family have been incredible, too.  When I post her successes on Facebook, people share in our pride and reach out to congratulate her and tell her just how fantastic she is. 

As hard as everything has been, I just continue to be so grateful for the friends and family who reach out to support us in a million different ways. 

Great job, Haley!

look who's coming home.

I am so thankful to report that Travis was able to come home late this afternoon. Thank you for all your prayers - the medicine seems to be working! 

We got his {8!} prescriptions filled this afternoon and got him into bed. He caught up on the DVR a bit, and we scheduled out when he needs each of his medications. Please pray that he medicine continues to work. He started to feel uncomfortable about an hour and a half ago. 

I would also ask that you pray for healing and also additional research for the many people who struggle with this disease. Thanks for all your encouragement the past couple of weeks -- it means so much. Sweet dreams.

tuesday night update.

travis has been doing much better as far as his pain levels go, and we thought he might get to come home tonight.  we just talked to the doctor, though, and she wants him to stay at least another day.  they've switched a lot of his meds over to pill versions, but still have his steroids in his IV.  they will switch those to a pill form tomorrow to see how he handles it.  if he doesn't have another flare up as far as pain goes, they will likely release him.  he really wanted to come home tonight -- especially with the storms headed our way.  

haley wants to "kick those doctors' butts" because he doesn't get to come home. 

travis and i went for a walk this afternoon when i got here to the hospital.  a very slow walk, but a walk nonetheless to get some fresh air he was pretty tired once we got downstairs so we took a twenty minute break and then headed back up.  he promptly fell asleep -- but not before requesting a watermelon slush from sonic.  i grabbed a slush for him and an orange dream machine for me from jamba juice.  we've spent the rest of the evening in the room. 

i got a little nap on the couch before dad stopped by with the maker's diet.  it's a book written by a man who has crohn's.  dad went to see bobi raney today to see if she had any patients and/or treatments she could recommend.  she sent him home with drops for travis to use to help heal his intestines and this book for us to read and learn more about treatments that worked well for the author.

everyone is so worried about my guy.  i'm so glad there are people who care about us.

thoughtful friends everywhere.

i keep bringing this up, but our friends and family have been such an encouragement to me over the past few weeks.

a while back travis came up with a lovely term of endearment for our friend tasha.  he calls her a krod {dork spelled backwards}.  he's been calling her this for months and each time he does, she forgets what it stands for or where it came from. 

yesterday, she wanted me to send him a thoughtful message ...

i love our friends.

you are what you eat.

rhiannon's biometric screening.

Today was my biometric screening.  All of my numbers came back normal {except for my triglycerides – they are still a little high, and they were high last year}. 

The wellness coach mentioned, "you flag a little high for stress."  The survey they give asks if you’ve experienced a death in the family, divorce, marriage, birth of a child/adoption, change in job, work stress, serious illness in the family, personal health issues etc. in the past year.  I could say yes to all of them on the list – and they have all taken place in the last six months.  I explained the situation and that the stress isn’t anything that can be controlled – I can’t bring my uncle back; I can’t make my parents get back together; I can’t heal my husband’s disease; I am trying to control my migraines and manage other health issues, etc.  

 

There are good stresses, too, like the introduction of a kid into our lives.  Sure it’s not always easy, but it’s something else that happens in life, and a lot of good comes from Haley around, even on days when it’s tough for her.

 

He agreed there is little I can do and to continue to maintain a healthy lifestyle as much as possible.

haley's humor.

haley cracks me up.  i was sitting at the hospital earlier today when i get this text from her.  i know several of you haven't met her yet, but i wish you knew her because the first sentence just sounds so much like her.  she gets the "you know" from her dad.  he used to pepper it all throughout his conversations ... a lot of times followed by "what i mean, man?" and sometimes just, "you know."

what's even funnier to me is that i can actually see haley engaging in this conversation with her friendly shower spider.

tuesday update.

Travis is still in the hospital, and I'm working in Bartlesville today. I can't explain how difficult it is for me to not be at the hospital with him. A little bit ago I received a text that he had good news. When I called him, the good news was that he had a quote for guttering on our house and it came in well below what we thought it would be. Haha! Crazy guy -- he just doesn't know how to be still. I'm glad he's at least staying occupied while I'm gone, but I hate not getting to talk to the doctors. Sitting for hours and hours in a room alone can't be a whole ton of fun either. Keep praying that he'll feel better soon!

thank You for Your mercies.

I did a lot of posting about events that took place on Sunday.  I posted a lot of good things, but it was a pretty scary day for us. 

I left the hospital {I just typed “hotel” – that should tell you something about how long we’ve been here} to grab something from Jamba Juice – thank you God for Jamba Juice right now.  I was sitting in the parking lot talking to Sue about the doctor’s new recommendation for Remicaid and how scary it is for us.  So much talk about lymphoma!  We understand that all drugs have warning labels (and most of them sound worse than whatever you actually have) but Remicaid is  a bio-drug and is more than forthcoming about the relationship between long-term use of the drug and developments of lymphoma.  Since Travis already has a history of cancer in his family, we would like to avoid this if at all possible.  "Bio treatments" were also some of the first words out of Travis's dad's mouth when he came up to the hospital when Travis was first hospitalized.  He warned us to immediately shut the doctors down if they started talking about this.  I needed to call and tell his parents, to keep them informed because I know they’ve been so worried, too, but I didn’t know how to tell them about something they had been so adamant about Travis steering clear of.  Dee wouldn’t be happy and I was afraid Steve would flip.  I also knew that Travis is the one having to deal with the illness.  It's his body, his frame of mind that are impacted, and he would want/need to consider all options.

In the middle of talking through everything with Sue, she got a call on her other phone.  I could hear the concern in her voice as she talked.  When she came back on the line she said she had to go.  Tabitha had the boys in her car and Zack was following, but she was having stroke-like symptoms.  She had managed to pull into a parking lot, but Zack needed to get her to the hospital as quickly as possible.  Sue was going to meet them in the parking lot to pick up the boys. 

Zack got her to the ER, but her dexterity was nominal and the side of her face was numb.  She was slumped and sagging, and having difficulty speaking. After Sue saw her, she was really worried she was having a stroke.

I broke down in the car and just started praying.  Our family has been through so much.  Nothing could happen to Tabitha. He had to take care of her.  I texted Sue to let her know I was praying for them and to please keep me posted.  Now how was I going to tell Travis this?   I didn’t want to stress him out, but I knew if something happened he would be upset if he hadn’t known sooner.  I grabbed my smoothie and headed back to the hospital. 

We’ve learned now that Tabitha had an extremely bad migraine.  They were able to knock her out with Benadryl and another medication to break the migraine.  So scary!  I’m so incredibly grateful that it wasn’t anything more severe. The neurologist has said if this happens again, Tabitha should knock herself out with Benadryl again and that the new prescription will hopefully help break it.

As tough as things have been, I’m so glad to know that God is watching over us.  That He is providing for us and carrying us through. 

happy birthday, ashy!

Yesterday, Matthew and Crystal sent us pictures of Asher’s birthday party since we couldn’t be there.  He got his special new glasses as one of his birthday presents.  What a little cutie. 

As you can see from the first picture {my favorite}, Asher's not so sure about these new glasses.  They were his special present, but I'm not sure he was falling for all the hype. 

I have such a great husband.  Travis couldn't stand the thought of little Ashy feeling out of place. He had me take pictures of him in his glasses so he could send some to Matthew to share with Asher. Asher LOVES Travis, and Travis wanted him to see that lots of people wear glasses -- even his good buddy Travis.

Don't I have such a great guy? Even while he's lying in a hospital bed, he's trying to help Asher feel better.  I couldn't pick my favorite of these pictures ... I know I'm biased, but I just love all of these. 

 

 

 

a morning at home with haley girl.

This morning I spent time at home with Haley.  It’s been a rough week for her not having Travis and me around. She’s really worried about Travis, too.  We also needed to run her out to the doctor’s office in Owasso so they could start her on another round of antibiotics. Lately I feel like we spend all our time in ER's, doctors' offices, and hospitals.  Still, I know I am blessed and try to continually remind myself of that. 

I started the morning making French toast dumplings for her.  They're made out of Grand's biscuits and simmered in maple syrup and brown sugar.  Yowza. They also gave me the opportunity to use my Dutch oven that I love so much -- that thing is awesome!
  

They were incredibly easy, and we both really liked them ... I would be lying if I said she didn't think they looked a little weird, but all-in-all, I think they were a success.   I didn't get a final shot of mine, but you can see how they look at www.ohbiteit.com by following the link to the recipe above.  Let me know what you think if you try them. 

missing him.

I sent this to Travis today.  It's tough being home without him, and I hate not being able to be at the hospital with him all the time.

transitional diet.

they didn't keep travis on a liquids-only diet for as long this trip.  today they moved him back to the transitional diet.  that means he gets to eat things like mashed potatoes, jello, etc.

the presentation cracks me up.  it looks like a full meal under that lid ...

... and then you get this:

my poor guy.  i am excited that he's eating actual food, though.  even if it's very bland and not much.

we have color!

today travis looks so much better.

last night was my first night to sleep at the house instead of the hospital.  we were worried about haley and wanted to make sure she knew everything is really okay with travis. 

i spent the morning cleaning our house {and putting a way the millions, or so it seemed, of pill bottles, boxes, and concoctions that haley and travis have been prescribed over the past few months}.  i put a lot of things into the recycling bin because it felt like paper was stacking up all over the house.

i made french toast dumplings and scrambled eggs for haley and fixed myself a shake.  i miss my shakes.

i headed back up to the hospital a little later and was excited to see that travis finally has a little color.  i had a picture i was going to share, but deleted it by accident.  i'm just so glad to see even tiny bits of improvement with travis.

thanks to everyone who has been thinking and praying for us.  please continue to ask that travis would find relief from the pain so that we can be back home. 


**Sunday night update: Earlier today the GI on-call let us know the meds aren't working the way the doctors would expect them to work and Travis's pain level is much higher than they would expect. This doesn't mean anything is wrong -- all of his tests come back fine. They are still taking good care of him, and he is comfortable. It just means we have some important decisions to make over the next few days concerning his treatment moving forward and have a little bit of studying to do. Pray that we will make the best decisions for him. I know I've been bombarding you with a lot of updates over the past week; thanks for checking on us and praying for us.

The doctor who came in today actually got Travis really upset.  His bedside manner was nothing like the other doctors who are part of Adult Gastroenterology.  Travis's blood pressure went up and he told the nurses not to let that doctor back in his room.  It was the same guy I talked to on the phone Saturday morning to find out if we should have Travis back in the hospital so soon, or if he was experiencing symptoms they would expect him to experience.  He was so rude and condescending during that phone call as if I was wasting his time -- which is exactly what I was trying to avoid.  I didn't want to have him at the hospital, if they were going to send him back home.

haley and the loves come for a visit.

After getting Travis settled back in at the hospital, I went back home to get Haley.  There's a Starbucks in Kingspointe Village just across from the hospital, so we stopped in for drinks.  It was nice enough for us to sit out on the patio, so we grabbed a table and visited for a while, mainly about school. {I'm grateful for patio weather.  Maybe a little fresh air will do some good for me}.  I was anxious to get back to the hospital to see Travis, so we didn't stay long.  We hadn't brought Haley to the hospital at all last week.  With the trauma of her dad so fresh in her mind, we really weren't sure bringing her up to St. Francis was such a great idea.  She hadn't gotten to see Travis, though, all last week or even in the short period of time he was home on Friday, so she was anxious to get to the hospital to see him, too. 

A little later in the afternoon, Matthew and Crystal brought the boys and came to see us. Haley hadn’t met them before, so I was excited she not only got to spend some time with Travis, but that she got to meet the Loves as well.

Asher’s birthday is Monday – he’ll be three.  His birthday party is tomorrow at Chuck E. Cheese, but we won’t be able to make it this year.   

We wished him a happy birthday and let him know we were super excited for him, and that we were sad to miss it.

I’ve been so worried about my little family.  I know this can’t be easy for Haley.  She’s been worried about Travis and I don’t have a lot of answers for her, just that he is okay and is going to be better at some point.

My dad has been incredible to stay with her throughout the week and make sure there is someone home with her every night.  I hate not being there to drop her off at school (even if I’m not a morning person, I’ve already gotten used to seeing her each morning and dropping her off). 

Hopefully we’ll have some answers soon about how quickly Travis can start feeling better.

It’s weird going about my week as if everything is normal.  I worked from the hospital all last week, but didn’t feel like I could do that for another week.  This must be similar to what it feels like for Haley – going about like everything is normal when really everything has been flipped on end.

I’m grateful we are a family and have one another to get through the tough times.

back at st. francis.

when travis and i got home last night, we got him ready for bed and all tucked in and comfortable. i was so grateful to be able to stay in his room at the hospital this week on a couch that converted into a bed.  there isn't any other place i wanted to be, but it didn't make for good rest at all. every time we would fall asleep, someone would come in to ask travis a question, take blood, do a shift change, etc.  so we never had uninterrupted sleep.  i was grateful travis had medicine and was able to get some relief and rest even a little bit, because he hadn't been able to at all at home.

i woke up this morning to travis asking me to wake up.  and if i'm honest, i was a little cranky.  i didn't say anything mean, but i felt like i was being dragged back to the surface from a million miles away.  i groaned and tried to just roll over and fall back asleep.

"rhiannon, baby, wake up.  i need you to take me to the hospital."

okay.  i was awake.  groggy and still in a fog, but awake.  and concerned.  i sat up immediately and started questioning what was wrong.  he was in a lot of pain and had just passed out in the bathroom for a short period of time because the pain had gotten too great.  i asked why he hadn't woken me sooner, and he said he had been trying to.  great.  worst.  wife.  ever.  ever!  i felt terrible.

i quickly got around, re-packed my bag with a book, our phone chargers, and a hoodie and got dressed it what i now refer to as my "hospital uniform" -- navy sweats and a white long-sleeved t-shirt.  i started making all the calls to everyone and we headed to the hospital.

travis got very familiar with the hospital's pain scale and the definitions associated with each level.  when we arrived back at st. francis they took him back for triage and then allowed me back.  they got him hooked up quickly to an iv and started administering dilaudid and fluids.  they took him back for another scan.  {i don't think i mentioned it on the blog, but the last time we were in the ER, travis was so thirsty.  they of course wouldn't let him have any liquids, regardless of how many times we asked.  then, his favorite person of all time came through the door.  i don't know the guy's name, but he was bearing a crystal light with the dye that travis needed to drink before his scan.  he still talks about how good that crystal light was}.  before they took him back, he asked if he was going to get to have another crystal light -- unfortunately for him, not this time.

we told them he was still passing a large amount of blood.  when the dr's and staff saw the amount that he was passing {and that was all that he was passing}, they said he had no business being at home; additionally, they agreed that we would never be able to manage his pain at home.  they admitted us to another room.  this time in the orange section of the building.  we had gotten so used to the nurses on green three, {as i'm writing this, i was just transported back to my favorite super summer trip at obu -- green 3! green 3! green 3!} i was sad to not go back to the same floor, but knew it was unlikely that his room was still available.  we were just grateful to have a room and have him back on steroids and dilaudid.

i love my husband so much.  i pray he starts getting better quickly. 

going home!

Guess who was released from the hospital today!  Travis has been dying to go home {and I'm been dying for him to come home, too}.  Lying in a hospital bed since Monday has not been fun for him.  Poor guy.  He keeps joking that he has never been hospitalized and then he has his 27^th birthday, and it’s all downhill from there.  I tried to snap a picture of him coming out of the hospital, but he was too quick for me.  As soon as he saw the car, he was making his way out of the wheelchair and climbing in, ready to be home.  I hope he starts feeling like his old self soon.

As happy as I am to be home, I also know the steroids they give him and the dilaudid help him feel a million times better, and he starts getting antsy.  They have started him on 6MP to treat the Crohn's.  It will take about six weeks for the meds to get into his system and for him to start feeling a difference {and hopefully be symptom-free}.

I'm just so grateful to have my little family under one roof again.

encouragement from a friend.

I came home to check on Haley late this afternoon/early evening.  I had talked to Kate most days this week.  She knew I felt terrible about leaving Haley at home, that I was worried about my husband, and that there was just a lot to take in.  She texted me that she had left a little something in my mailbox.  When I walked out, this is what I found {excuse the terrible lighting}. 

A bottle of "Rhiannon" wine?  How have I never seen this before? 

Oh, Kate.  What would I do without you?  I actually didn’t have time to sit down and enjoy a glass, but I know this will come in handy sometime in the near future.

So grateful to friends like Kate who have made sure that I'm not completely alone in this.  God, I'm so thankful you've brought these kinds of friends into my life.

special delivery.

 

today we received a special delivery at the house for travis.  his boss and the guys at work sent him flowers.  

 

 

 

we have had so many people reach out to make sure we're okay.  it means so much to us that people are thinking of us and praying for us.  hopefully we'll be back home soon. 

baked oatmeals cups.

last month haley and i spent a day making lasagna and oatmeal cups.  i posted the recipe for the lasagna, but never got back around to the oatmeal cups.  since i'm sitting in the hospital with travis, i thought i'd try to get caught up.

 

this is another pinterest recipe, and it's from sugar-free mom.  she asks that others not post the recipe on their personal blogs, so you'll have to click over to her blog for the actual ingredients and directions. 

for our toppings: we used white chocolate chips, milk chocolate chips, raisins, and blueberries

sugar-free mom uses 1/4 cup of flaxseed meal, but i didn't have it so we left it out and did not substitute anything for it

i think i would play with these a little bit if we make them again in the future.  i expected the oatmeal to be a little firmer, particularly in the center -- and maybe the additional flaxseed would have helped with that.  i think these could bake longer and be just about perfect.  they're not super sweet, but that's what i like about them.  i know exactly what's in the cups (and i approve of just about all of it). 

haley at these for breakfast every day the week after we made these, and we still have plenty in the freezer.

travis's hospital stay: crohn's disease.

Travis had his colonoscopy yesterday. They were able to get him into the ER first thing in the morning.  Dr. Volak came in and talked to us the night before, and we both really like him.  He's the doctor Lynette referred us to in Tulsa, but he wasn't in the office on Monday.  He takes time to sit down and talk with us and seems pretty laid back.  Dr. Clark originally wanted to do a colonscopy and an upper endoscopy, but he was too inflamed to have the full procedure.  Volak wanted to get in so he could make a diagnosis.  He called the room immediately after the surgery to talk to me and he's pretty certain it is Crohn's.  We have to wait for the official biopsy to come back, but Volak has no doubt that it will be Crohn's.  My mom came up to sit with me at the hospital while Travis was in surgery.  She stuck around for part of the day, but wasn't able to be there all day.  She was studying for a test for school and needed to make sure she would have time to get home.

For now, we plan to be here for a few more days. Travis won't be able to leave the hospital until he can eat and pass solid food, get rid of the inflammation in his abdomen, urinate without any problems, and stave off the fever. He's feeling better, but the medicine they gave him last night kept us awake most of the night.

2 months.

dear haley,

today it has been two months since you came to live with us.

this month you've:

• had a slumber party at caitlin's where you girls drank 10 pots of coffee and didn't fall asleep until 5:00 in the morning.  after learning how late you were awake, i was shocked that you were ready to be home by 9:30 saturday morning so you could take a shower!
• enjoyed movie nights with aunt deniese including "the perks of being a wallflower"
• shared with us all the wonder (or so you say) that is one direction and their incredible music videos
• gotten to raid sierra's closet (it was like a whole new closet came home with you)
• finished all of your geometry make-up work that has been haunting you -- and made a C on your test!
• finished your vanity & got a new bookshelf and hanging shelves for your room
• asked when you can get your dad's ashes, but you're still not certain how you feel about that; you've thought of places he might like to be scattered and really like the idea of skiatook lake.  he always tried to convince you to move to skiatook so the two of you would be close to the water and able to fish.  you're not so sure you're a fisher, though. you also want to make sure you're able to share with
• been disappointed in friends who let you down; remember that what you are going through is specific to you. other people don't always internalize and choose not to empathize with what we're going through in our lives.  you will find incredible friends in your life someday who will stick with you through thick and thin
• tried for your driver's permit, but got stuck on one question, so we made the most of the day and got a sweetheart shake from sonic
• spent most of spring break at aunt deniese's and then came home with us, and we headed to oklahoma city for a spring break adventure -- unfortunately the weather didn't really cooperate with us
• had a trip to urgent care where we found out you had strep throat
• discovered that the movie "spring breakers" was horrible and understood why we wouldn't take you to see it
• been worried about travis since we had to put him in the hospital for abdominal pain; you spent time at home with uncle john while we were in the hospital and cuddled lots with oli and conor
• had parent/teacher conferences at your school where i got to meet your advocacy, sociology, english, french, and journalism teachers
• received your easter basket from the easter bunny (and a card from the boys saying you're their favorite easter treat)

you've had lots of fun on the weekends, been a little bored throughout the weeks, and finished your science fair project with milly. oliver and conor get so excited when you walk back in the door after you've been gone for a few days.  oli wallows all over you and can't get close enough. 

things are different for you, but i hear from more and more people that the spark in you is coming back, that they are starting to see the old haley return.  you love to make us laugh and have a lot of fun playing with the pups.  slowly but surely we are all adapting to this new life.

we love you,
rhiannon, travis, conor, and oilver